Shut Out by Kelly Jamieson

Author:Kelly Jamieson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2016-06-06T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

Skylar

Jacob and I are studying for midterms in the kitchen at my place. I’m struggling with quantum mechanics. Honestly, the talk of light waves being a combination of oscillating electric and magnetic fields makes my head spin. This shit makes no sense at all, and I want to pick up my textbook and hurl it through the window. As I imagine doing that, Jacob covers one of my hands with his.

“Relax, babe.”

I turn my gaze to his, pressure building inside me. “Easy for you to say.” He’s already aced three midterm exams, apparently without even breaking a sweat.

He stands and moves around behind my chair. His big hands drop onto my shoulders and he starts massaging. “Jesus. You’ve got rocks here.”

I groan at the feeling of his hands on my tight muscles. “Oh my God.”

He kneads and squeezes, finding spots of exquisite pain that he gently works until they release.

“Wow,” I breathe. “You’re good at this.”

“I love getting a massage. I guess I’ve picked up a few things.”

He digs his thumbs into my spine, down between my shoulder blades. I whimper.

“Okay?”

“Oh yeah. More than okay.”

He continues to work on me, up my neck, back to my shoulder. “You’re killing yourself, Sky,” he murmurs. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

His question makes me tense again, and he squeezes my upper arms.

I release a long breath and let my head fall forward. His fingertips find two spots at the base of my skull that are tender. “I have to do this.”

“Why?”

“I told you. My sister’s going to be a doctor.”

He massages my neck more. “Do you think your parents won’t love you if you don’t become a doctor like her?”

Tension grips me again and my head snaps up.

“It’s okay,” he soothes, gliding his hands along the tops of my shoulders. “Tell me.”

I struggle to find the words. I don’t want to talk about it, but he asked, and…it’s Jacob. “They’ll be disappointed. Every time I don’t do as well as Elisha, they’re disappointed. They’ve paid a lot of money for me to come here, and if I don’t do it…well, they won’t hate me, but I can’t stand the thought of letting them down. Of being less in their eyes.”

I hear a low growl in his throat. “That’s bullshit.”

I close my eyes. “I’m sorry. But it’s true.”

“You aren’t less than your sister.”

“Sure I am.” My throat tightens. “I just want them to look at me with the same kind of pride they do her. I want them to brag to their friends about both their smart daughters, not just one.”

“They fucking do that?” His hands go still.

“Yes. They probably don’t even realize it. All I ever got growing up was, Your sister got an A in this course. Your sister was the class valedictorian when she graduated. Your sister got a full scholarship to Bayard, and then Harvard.”

“Christ.” His hands go still on my shoulders. “Your sister sounds pretty damn annoying.”

I choke on a laugh. “Well, yeah, but she wasn’t doing it on purpose.

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